Living in Japan is rough. I find myself longing for a man. Some might say I’m boy crazy. I can’t deny that it’s true. South and I will talk for hours about men. Men we’d seen in the club, kpop guys and even colleagues sometimes. There is nothing else to do in this town but perv on guys and fall in love in our heads.
My fav place on this planet (since I’ve had many opportunities to go out of space and found that aliens were not exactly to my liking) to perv on guys is in Seoul— the hottie mother land. Those guys know just how to dress. They look good from the front and equally as good from the back. I’m salivating just thinking about them. It was on my first visit to Seoul that I realized that I’m an ass girl. There is nothing sexier than a man with a nice ass. And in Seoul they spend hours in the gym or on the operating table chiseling those fine asses.
It’s a shame that we don’t live in South Korea. So we have to feast our eyes on men closer to home. Let me tell you about the guys that tickle our fancy.
He lives in SK and is so cutr! Honestly, South talks about him all the time but she doesn’t have feelings for him. Or so she says. Then when this other bitch in sheep’s clothing tried to make the moves on him, she went all tiger on that bitch’s ass. But she has no romantic feelings for the guy but happily refers to him as her little bro. Their relationship seems a little incestuous if you ask me. Maybe I’m just reading the situation all wrong. You tell me.
This is South’s sexy neighbour. She rarely sees him. So to get them to interact a bit more we are always trying to concoct plans to get her into his apartment. We have yet to come up with one that could actually work. I like this guy a lot, haven’t seen a pic of him yet. But I’m all about easy access. He lives next door. It would be like a Nodame and Chiaki. Unless he’s more like Hannibal Lector then that would just be super awkward.
South’s sexy colleague, married of course. But such a flirt. Even though he’s Japanese for some odd reason he likes skinship. Or he knows that she gets shy when he touches her back. He’s dangerous, and yet so so so HOT!!!! South reminds herself constantly that he goes to snack bars every weekend. Don’t worry, South is a strong girl. She won’t fall for his temptations. Fighting!
I want to ffffaaaaqqqqq his sense of humour. Tokyo is a friend of a friend. Because some things happened, we met and I fell in love with his dirty mouth. He’s a vulgar little fucker. He spends all day talking about penises and being tied up. I think he likes a good spanking too. His facebook status updates has the ability to change a super kak day into a fucken awesome one. South wants us to hook up but I’m not a big fan of rope burn.
My office lover, married of course. The funny thing is that he isn’t physically sexy but he has this aura of control. Like he’d know what to do between the sheets. I spent most of winter fantasizing about this man. Come on guys, I’m from a warmish country, and I needed something to warm these cold bones. Nothing got me hotter than when he called my name. Unlike the rest of my colleagues, he didn’t say “North san”, he just said “North”. His English is as dismal as my Japanese but we made it work.
A local university student I only see when I look like Tim Burton. I remember the first time I saw him. I can remember it like it was yesterday. He was riding his bicycle. And for some odd reason he smiled at me, and naturally I said, “Hello.” (Think Joey from Friends). Not my finest hour. But hey! We all have those awkward moments. Now whenever he sees me he says hello and winks but I have a feeling he’s mocking me. Bastard!
It’s fun to perv on guys and talk about them with a chingu. But at times it feels like we’re matchstick girls with no money looking at chocolate cakes through a display window. That’s just cruel. We want to eat cake too. Don’t we deserve some cake? Do sexy guys exist just to remind us that we’re poor and will never have even a little piece of chocolate cake?